


Somehow We Fit

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Amputee Bucky Barnes, Angst, Artist Steve Rogers, Bipolar Disorder, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, But still a bamf, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Spideypool, Non-Graphic Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Punk Bucky Barnes, Recreational Drug Use, Short Chapters, Slow Burn, Support Group, Title Subject to Change, basically everyone's a mess, peggy carter is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 15:02:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6244435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were all there for their own reasons; Natasha for some fucked up emotional abuse she endured when she was younger, Bruce for anger management, and well Clint’s story always changed a little every time depending on how high he was.  Peggy, who just goes by Carter, gives Sam a steely glare and a raised, pierced, eyebrow every time he asks her to share why she’s here. James, or ‘Bucky’, as everyone seemed to call him since he was young, just grunts and adjusts the sleeve on his sweatshirt so it covers more of his metal arm. Finally they get to Steve, he has no nickname, and when Sam asks why he is here he simply shakes his head and mutters ‘pass’.  Then it will move on to Tony, whose parents were killed. Wanda who just lost her brother, and lastly some kid everyone calls Thor, who apparently killed a few people in a car accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Second time uploading this, probably not my last time taking it down either, just a warning.  
> Anyway, I've been thinking about this au for a while and finally got around to writing it. If you find any plot holes, inaccuracies, or spelling/grammar mistakes please feel free to point them out.

They were all there for their own reasons; Natasha for some fucked up emotional abuse she endured when she was younger, Bruce for anger management, and well Clint’s story always changed a little every time depending on how high he was. Peggy, who just goes by Carter, gives Sam a steely glare and a raised, pierced, eyebrow every time he asks her to share why she’s here. James, or ‘Bucky’, as everyone seemed to call him since he was young, just grunts and adjusts the sleeve on his sweatshirt so it covers more of his metal arm. Finally they get to Steve, he has no nickname, and when Sam asks why he is here he simply shakes his head and mutters ‘pass’. Then it will move on to Tony, whose parents were killed. Wanda who just lost her brother, and lastly some kid everyone calls Thor, who apparently killed a few people in a car accident. 

It really started when Sam decided to try something new.   
“I want you to find someone in this group who you would not usually talk to and just have a conversation with them. Don’t make it about why you’re here; ask them about their favorite bands, or what they do on the weekends. I know you’re all here for different reasons but that doesn’t mean you don’t have something else in common. You come here for support not just from me but from your peers, so take this chance to get acquainted.”   
At that they started to pair off, Clint cautiously approached Natasha. Tony and Bruce, who happened to be sitting next to each other, turned at attempted awkward conversation. Wanda and Thor simply look at each other and nod before walking to a corner. Bucky and Steve exchange glance and each other before Steve scooted closer to Bucky. It was at this time Carter chose to stroll through the door; she grabbed a name-tag and scribbled something on it, as per the usual, and went off to stand in the corner. That was until Sam saw and dragged her off to join Bucky and Steve because they weren’t saying much anyway.  
“You three, converse,” he had said before going to grab himself another cup of coffee.  
“So,” Steve started before pausing to look at Carter’s name-tag, “Marla what’s up?” She responded by crossing her arms and clenching her jaw. “Okay,” Steve started again this time pausing to look at Bucky’s name-tag, “Tyler, did you always live in Brooklyn?”  
Bucky simply rolled his eyes and then went back to inspecting the nails on his non-metal hand.  
Carter leaned back and began tapping a combat boot clad foot before speaking, “Well fuck Bob, think you could keep it down I have a wicked hangover.” Bucky snorted and began to chew his nails.  
“Um my name is Steve,” Steve muttered quietly, keeping his eyes trained on the ground.  
“It’s a movie reference dipshit, ever watch Fight Club?” Bucky Finally spoke.  
“Um no I guess not, was it any good?” Steve asked, he finally got them both to speak and he wanted to keep it going, but instead they both shrugged and spent the rest of the session in silence.   
When Sam dismissed the group Steve, Bucky, and Carter all walked out in silence. Carter to her car, a beat up silver piece of junk, Steve and Bucky both walked off to their respective homes. Steve would go home to an empty apartment to finish homework and eat leftovers; his aunt would be at work until midnight, in that time he watched Fight Club. Bucky would go home to an empty house, since he is an only child and his parents were usually out. Carter would drive around Brooklyn until the parties started, and the clubs opened up, she does not go home tonight.  
+

The funny thing about meeting new people is how you notice them a lot more; Steve saw both Carter and Bucky in his history class, Bucky saw Carter on the arm of some tough looking guy named Brock, and Carter saw Steve being pelted with doge balls in gym class. None of them said anything to each other, even when Bucky was called on to answer a question he did not know, not when Brock dug his nails into Carter’s skin so hard it drew blood, and not when Steve almost broke his nose defending another equally sick looking kid. In fact, they barely even talked in the weekly support group, much to Steve’s chagrin.   
The next time they interacted beyond curt head nods in the hallway it was in an ally whilst Steve was getting beat up. He had told a guy off in a movie theater and did not expect to be cornered, although that did not stop him from putting up a fight, or at least his definition of a fight. Around the fourth time he got knocked down he heard voices, could not place them but when he sat up, ignoring the spinning in his head, he saw Carter keeping the guy down with one foot, her knuckles were bleeding as well. The man was probably in worse shape than him, a broken nose and a black eye adorned his face, and judging by his awkward movement, he had a few broken ribs as well. When Steve finally tore his eyes away from the image of Carter terrorizing the man he saw an outstretched hand, Bucky’s to be exact. As he stood up he say the guy stand up and run away, he was now the recipient of two deathly glares.   
“Um thanks for that.” They both nodded a ‘no problem’   
Once they had gotten out to the ally, it was obvious that Steve had hurt his foot. “Okay here’s something I never thought I’d say, get in my car I’ll drive you home,” Carter spoke up after seeing his limp. If Steve or Bucky were to object, it was silenced by a glare as they wordlessly stepped into the car.   
“Do you like live in here or-“ Bucky trailed off as he picked a pair of boxers and an empty energy drink can off the passenger seat.  
“Something like that,” Carter muttered dismissively, “Hey, kid where’s your place?”  
Steve rattled off his address as he cleared dry mud and coffee cups off the back seat, using old clothes as a pillow for his hurt foot. They drove without speaking a word. Bucky and Carter nodded along to Iron Maiden on the radio as Steve observed them. Should he invite them in when they get there, his aunt would still be at work so they could hang out uninterrupted, but they also might not want to. Instead he settled on asking, “hey why were you guys both in that ally?”  
“I was watching a movie, went out for a smoke,” Bucky muttered, rolling down the window and lighting a cigarette.  
“Carter?” Steve prompted.  
“Hmm, I was meeting up with Wade,” She muttered.  
“Oh,” was all Steve would say, “umm, sorry if I interrupted your date,” he added.  
Carter gave a short, bark-like laugh, “I’m not dating Wade.”  
The conversation ended, the music filled the car, and once again Steve went back to watching Bucky and Carter, only speaking to give directions. He noticed how relaxed Bucky looked just nodding along to the radio, how his lips almost formed a small smile around the cigarette. How he was less guarded about the metal arm when it’s fingers were tapping to the rhythm of the song. How beautiful he looked with the sun hitting his tanned skin and roman features, making him look almost godlike. Steve shook his head and turned to look out the window after that thought, he could not like Bucky. Bucky was cool and edgy, he smoked (which does not go with Steve’s asthma) and goes to underground clubs, he could actually hold his own in a fight. Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw Carter look at him through the mirror and raised her eyebrow. Steve tried to shoot her a glare so she wouldn’t get the wrong idea but just then she pulled up the curb besides his building.   
“Okay well this has been great and all but get the fuck out of my car,” Carter finally spoke.  
“Oh hey do you think you could drop me up at my place I’m like a few miles away?” Bucky asked. Steve felt a twinge of jealousy that he could not come along but merely busied himself with getting him and his injured foot out of the midfield that is Carter’s backseat.  
“Did you not think to tell me that when we were a few miles away?” Carter shot back.  
“Slipped my mind,” Bucky shrugged. Carter rolled her eyes but did not kick him out. Steve again felt jealousy twist in his heart.  
“Well um thanks for that,” Steve awkwardly waved before stepping inside his building.  
+

“So,” Carter started before stopping to hand Bucky her lighter, “nice place.”   
“Thanks,” he muttered. They sat in silence passing the joint between them until they both became loose enough to talk.   
“You know when I was younger I found my cousins stash and thought it was dog treats, so I gave them to my aunts dog and then we ended up having to get its stomach pumped,” Bucky stated.   
Carter chuckled, “how did you grow up in Brooklyn and not know what pot smells like?”  
“I was an innocent eight year old.”  
Carter only snorted. They sat in silence for a while before Carter excused herself, but Bucky stopped her before she could leave.  
“Do you really live in your car?”  
“When I don’t feel like going home, what’s it to you?”  
“Nothing, it just sounds gross,” Bucky also wanted to add ‘unsafe’ but he had a reputation to keep up.  
“Yeah well it’s a good thing our school has showers.” Carter was about to step in to her car when Bucky stopped her again, “If you want to take a shower here we have a guest room no one goes in.”  
Carter nodded, giving him a tight smile before speeding away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got nothing

Begrudgingly Bucky looked forward to seeing Carter and Steve at school the next day, he did not have any close friends, and the few people he hung out with he had to be high, drunk, or both, to stand. Now he found himself wanting to get closer to them, closer to Steve. All day he found himself anticipating history class so he could see Steve, and Carter, but all he could think about throughout the day was how cute Steve looked chewing on a pen, his forehead crinkled in concentration. When fifth period history rolled around he had to stop himself from running to class, instead he dragged his feet, still sitting down a minute early. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Steve walked in with sunken eyes and an oversized backpack that looked like it might break his spindly shoulders. Bucky had to pretend to root around in his bag for a pen so he would stop staring at him. Class started and Professor Erskine began his lecture, but Carter never showed up, he caught Steve’s eye a few times throughout the period and knew he was thinking the same thing, where was Carter? Bucky saw her in the clutches of Brock again during lunch, he knew it was none of his business and Carter could handle herself, but the thought of her being alone with him made his skin itch. Suddenly Bucky began to worry that Steve thought the same of him, long greasy black hair, dull ripped clothes that always smelled like smoke. He knew he always seemed to glare, and of course there was his missing appendage. No one knew how he lost his arm, Bucky himself was still hazy on the details, but he knew it put many off, Steve was probably one of them. He should probably go for Carter, she was probably tougher than him, and he would not put her off, but she was not Steve. It was years since he had a crush on anyone and Bucky tried to reassure himself that it was just a crush, Steve was probably the first person to show him the slightest bit of empathy and he just began to think more about him. Soon enough Steve would move on and the infatuation would subside.  
After school Bucky was restless, he wanted to go out and do something instead of just sitting in his room staring at the ceiling. For once, Bucky wanted to hang out with people without drinking, he wanted to do something normal, like go to a movie, or hang out at the mall. He could have caught up to Steve, who was also walking home alone; instead, he walked in to a bodega to get a pack of cigarettes so he would not be awkwardly trailing Steve. He ended up staring at the ceiling in his room listening to his music after all; there was just nothing else to do. Parents were out; he could have had a free if he had friends, the skate park was out of the question, only having one arm does not help balance. He could go to the movies, or make the trek up to Queens if he wanted to dick around at the mall, but it was no fun alone. Bucky never minded not being close to people, but suddenly he was craving human contact. Specifically a certain tiny, blond haired, bright blue eyed human. He replayed their interaction over the weekend in his head, mentally kicking himself for not making up a bullshit excuse to give Steve his number. Like he would actually want to talk to you, Bucky thought sullenly. Suddenly he needed to get out of his room, the walls seemed to be caving in around him, his legs felt numb, and his vision blacked out for a moment when he stood up. Bucky grabbed his lighter and cigarettes and shoved them in his pockets with his wallet, whatever was this feeling was could be cured by pizza.  
Bucky walked around aimlessly, his stomach filled with pizza and a smoke between his fingers. He did not feel any better, just greasy and bloated as well. Walking only made him tired until he ended up under a tree in Prospect Park. The music playing in his ears along with the cool fall day lulled Bucky in to a doze, just when he was about to fall asleep a large fuzzy creature jumped on him and began to lick his face.  
“Hey, Cap, come back,” yelled a frantic voice that seemed all too familiar.  
If Bucky had not been startled, he probably would have welcomed the beast. Instead, he jumped up and tried to catch himself with his arm, his right arm, the flesh arm, twigs dug into his palm and instantly began to sting. Looking down at him with concerned eyes was the one and only, Steven Rogers. With surprising strength, he pulled on the yellow lab’s collar until it was off him. Once he controlled his dog, they both crouched down eye level to Bucky with the same concerned look and cocked head.  
“Shit, sorry, are you okay?” Steve asked.  
“Yeah, yeah, fine,” Bucky did not mean to sound harsh but the look on Steve’s face told him it did.  
“Sorry about Cap, he gets excited at the park.”  
“Yeah it’s really fine, don’t worry about it.” By now Bucky managed to sit up and he began to bet the dog. “By the way, what the fuck type of name is Cap?”  
“I got him when I was young and I thought it was a funny name,” Steve answered, blushing. Bucky had to smile at the mental image of a young, even smaller Steve with a puppy giggling over the name Cap. By now the dog in question had put his head on Bucky’s outstretched leg and began to drool.  
“Damn Cap, that’s gross,” Steve exclaimed, then he turned to Bucky, “sorry again, we’ll leave you alone now.”  
“Oh, yeah, I should probably get going,” honestly Bucky had nowhere to be and he still did not feel like going home, but he did not want to make Steve uncomfortable.  
+  
Steve Watched Bucky’s retreating figure and sighed, “Damn Cap, why him?” He asked the still sitting dog, “you could have ran over anyone in this park, but you have choose the guy I like?” Caption only looks up with a grin and stands to continue walking.  
“Okay fine, let’s go home.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a Carter chapter

Carter woke up hung-over and sore. She picked herself up off the sticky floor, grabbed her bag, and made her way to her car. The time on her dashboard read three a.m. and upon looking in the mirror, she confirmed she was indeed a hot mess. Hickeys and bite marks littered her pale skin, long black hair, which was normally straight now was knotted and sticking up at weird angles. Her makeup was smudged but she noticed the cut lip and bruise beginning to form around her eye. Sighing, Carter started her car and tried to find a twenty-four hour diner.   
After two cups of coffee, a bowl of cereal, and triple the recommended dose of Aspirin, Carter began to piece together last night. Her and Brock ditched school after lunch, where they a broke up. As was her post break up ritual Carter went out with the intentions of getting wasted, and judging by the pictures on her phone, she succeeded. After an hour or so, the diner began to fill up with night workers just getting off their shift, Carter paid her bill and left. She ended up sitting on the hood of her car in an abandoned perking lot, cigarette hung limp between her lips as she watched the sun rise. Carter felt gross, her skin was sticky from grime and sweat, and her mouth felt as though it was stuffed with cotton. She weighed her options, she could continue to feel gross until Monday, and then she could shower at school, she could go home, get sucked back in by her parents, or she could go to the youth center. Any other time she would have chosen the latter without hesitation, a free shower and place to wash her clothes, all without having to deal with her parents. However, today she knew Sam would see her and yet again force her into his dumbass group therapy, usually she would not mind, it was an hour, and she could crash there for the rest of her day. Today Carter felt especially nasty, and could not even think about sitting through a bunch of whiny teens complaining about whatever it is that pisses them off, no matter how long it was for. All she wanted to do was take a bath until every skin cell on her body was destroyed. Sighing, Carter put her cigarette out on her arm, climbed into her car, and drove to the Brooklyn Youth Center.   
+  
Once she showered and transferred her clothes to the community dryer Sam ambushed Carter for a spontaneous therapy session.  
“Are we not going home today?” Sam asked nonchalantly.  
“Sam I already promised to go to your dumb group, do I have to have a heart to heart with you as well?” Carter asked.  
“I just have to ask three questions and then I’ll leave you alone.” Sam’s calm demeanor always caught Carter off guard and made her buckle to his requests.  
“Fine,” she huffed.  
“Okay, first, are you going to school?”   
“Yes. Next,” Carter knew the questions, and the expected responses but no mater how much she wanted to be left alone she chose the truth.  
“Okay, where are you staying if not at your parents?” Sam asked.  
“A friends house. Next.” It was not technically a lie, it was a house she was staying in, and she kind of knew the people who owned it.  
“Follow-up, do you think it is a good environment for you?” Carter had learned not to fight his infamous follow up questions, just as he had learned to ask specific questions.  
“Probably not. Next.” Carter kicked herself for not just saying it was so she would not have to deal with Sam’s disappointed stare.   
“Can we talk about this further later?” This was Sam’s move that made her trust him, he always asked and always took no for an answer.  
“Maybe. Next.”  
“Okay, are you taking your meds? And I’m talking about your prescription meds.”   
“Maybe.”  
“Maybe means no, why not?”  
“They make me feel worse.”  
“Do you only take them at home?” Sam asked  
“My parents make me, and that’s when I have my depressive phases.”  
“Or maybe, the medication, which is supposed to act as a mood stabilizer, takes you down from your manic phases.”  
“But I like my manic phases, at least I don’t feel like shit then,” Carter added the last part under her breath.  
“Carter, if you have a problem with your meds tell your physiatrist, untreated bipolar disorder can be really dangerous in adolescents.”  
“Maybe I like to walk on the wild side.”  
“Don’t you want some emotional stability in your life?”  
The beginning of Sam’s emotional speech was interrupted by an alarm from his phone. “All right Carter,” Sam said looking up, “time for group,” he said with an overly excited smile.   
Group went the same as every other week, and Carter wondered why she had to come today. After group was over, she grabbed her clothes from the dryer and met up with Wade, because fucking Bucky smokes a ton, and she was bored. Wade, sells pot, good pot and right now Carter needed a distraction.   
+  
“Man, is that Bucky Barnes kid in your group thingy?” Wade asked.  
“Yeah, what’s it to you?”  
“Nah, it’s just he’s the only other morbidly disfigured kid in school, might be cool to team up with him, we could be the panty incinerators for anyone with a gore kink.” Wade was burned pretty badly as a child and now most people were terrified of him.  
“I’ll be sure to pass along the message,” Carter responded dryly.  
“You know who I want to have a gore kink,” Wade continued.  
“Please, do tell.”  
“That little nerd, Peter, Peter Parker. I’ve been copying off of him in science, and fuck is he smart, and we all know smart is the new black.”  
“Wow,” Carter responded unenthusiastically. “Also I’m pretty sure it’s ‘smart is the new sexy’”  
Wade sighed, “Fine,” he drawled, “we’ll talk about you, how’s Brock, do I have to beat him up again?”  
“No, we’re done for real, and I never asked you to beat him up the first time.”  
“Oh thank god, that guy is exhausting,” Wade dramatically placed a scarred hand on his forehead and closed his eyes, “his dick must have been amazing for you to put up with him for that long.”  
“It was only two months, Wilson,” Carter groaned, “but yes fucking him was okay.”  
“Just okay, I officially do not know what you saw in him. But, because you are my best, and really only, customer I will take you hint and shut up.”   
“You’re the best Wilson.” Against her better judgment, Carter leaned her head on Wade’s shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and such, knowing people kind of want to read my stuff is really helping me keep up writing : )


End file.
